Raunak abhi bhi hai.........!!!!!!!

Its about 04:35pm . Evening time when you have no more work than you wish to go somewhere where you can get some entertainment. Oh I am preparing for ibps exam which will held on 07 of Dec in Kanpur. Not well prepared but I am confident . I am near success .so some time stress or some time cool.

About one and half year I visited village Hat. There was crowded much or can say raunak was still there. Babu Jee was also there for their personal works. I visited for repairing of shoe . It costed 10 rupee. But well done looking not bad also it can now help to over come of this winter season( shoe ).
Well after that I was looking to buy tomatoes for home. But it excited me that it cost was not more what I was expecting. I buy one kg tomato at the ₹40 . It was not I . Babu jee help me to buy that . Because I am not much experienced to do marketing. It will interesting to know ............rest I forget

Why this is happening with me

This is around 10:30 pm. Every one is on bed. I am also . Hoping maximum of us slept or about to sleep. I have just completed one English section and reason section of practice set which I did in day. And now trying hard to sleep. But where is my repose it still waiting . Not understanding why this is happening but i am thinking about someone i loved or can say a partner with i want to share my everything. But I really want to never think about any one. I want a total focus on my exam. But I failed to initialize myself . What should I do . Should I quit  the game of life or do something to serve as an animal or just do other. I am mad this time. Totally mad. Not able to differentiate the real truth or imaginary life. I am only thinking how to got suicide. Should I forget my parents . Their love or only their desire what they want. I am thinking that I am not that person of life who can do something or is any work for me. I just want to exit my life . It is becoming my first love . Should I continue or exit. Is there any chance for me in life or always suffer these type of rascal feeling. What is life is fearsome for me. I don't want to face the challenge of life. Question will raised why am I thinking like this. In my word there is more thing than grief and pain. So what should I do .it is unknown for me. I just my best but it become worst. Where is fault .??????what am I doing wrong . ?what should I not to do.this is feeling like that I am in ocean without any support and I can shrink any time. I am trying to come out but my tries is not in right direction. ? I have no direction detector device to find the adject my location. I am putting my everything to Badi Maa. Maa bless me and grant confidence to win the game of life.